You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
