I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
