My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
