the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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