Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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