i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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