I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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