i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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