a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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