Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
