Kiss
Puke
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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