I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
