how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
