They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Randomize
