I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
