I just pynch a tree in the face
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
