I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize