i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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