who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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