I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
