somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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