I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
