Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
no you cant smoke seaweed
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize