Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
