Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
