i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
