Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
