some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
