Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
