the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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