He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
