I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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