Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
