best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
