my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
