Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
