Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
