I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
