Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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