This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
