I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
