eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
