oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize