Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
