I want to have your abortion
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
These tits shall not be calmed
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
