im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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