That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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