Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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