I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
