He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
