About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I showed him my bush... on skype.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
