You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
