Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
