we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
