I can text with my tongue
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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