the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
my poor anus
I just want to make out with him forever
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
