Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
