wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
