I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize