she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
