Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
