If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
