do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
