Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
