did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I smell stomach acid.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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