I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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